Saturday, December 15, 2007

Large Families FAQ with Come backs

So, today I was at the store with the kids and got asked a couple of times, are they all yours?? You have your hands tired of those comments. Like I said before I don't see the big deal. I don't think four kids is that many but I guess maybe when Landen is drawing attention to all of us by either screaming or fighting with the others. It may look like alot to handel. I was just thinking to myself, if they only knew I'm pregnant again! What will they say when I'm pushing the grocery store cart with a big belly and four kids running around. I feel that when I start showing I should only go to the store with maybe one or two of the kids. After reading the email my sister just sent me I think I will just memorize some of the good comebacks to all the remarks I will get. Instead of letting them bug me I have decided to just have fun with it! Here is a copy of the email my sister sent me. Thanks Brianna!

Large Families FAQ with Come Backs.

1) You have your hands full!

Yes, happily so!
Yes, and my heart too.
Don't say anything, just look puzzled at your hands. (This does obviously
not work if you are carrying a baby :-)
Yes, but I would rather have my hands full than empty!

2) Are they all yours?

No, I just went to Rent-a-Brat.
No, this is not all of them, my oldest is at home with the triplets. HEHE!
No, actually two are the mailman's and I am not sure whose is that one.....
No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle.
Gee, I never heard that question before!
Of course they're all mine. Do you think I take five (or fill in your
number) kids shopping for fun?
No..........I have two more at home! (When it fits)
Yes, and they're such good kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the kids love that one!)
Of course they are..wait..who is that one? Hes not ours.....oh,yeah, 5 , I
forgot I had him.
I don't know. How many do you count?
Yes. But if you have any you don't want, I'll gladly take them, too .
No. I've been an avid collector for years and just picked these up in the
food court!
Yes, at least that's what I tell my husband.
Yes, we just enjoy sex soooooo much!
Why do you want to know?
Well, not today.
We are trying to get into the Guiness Book of World Records of (add whatever
here) most kids, largest family living in one house, etc.
Yes, I always want just one more.
Check back in nine months and you'll see for yourself.

3) Don't you know what causes that?

No, please tell me!
Of course, don't you?
Yes, we do know what causes that and we like it very much, thank you.
Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in
seperate glasses!
Oh yes, I now wash my husband's underwear seperately.
Oh yes, having a great sex life!
Water or sex but I don't want to give up either.
Smile brightly and say with enthusiasm "Yes and we like it!"
You bet I, love, love ( & sex, sex, sex.....hehehe.......)
Yes,and as you only have two kids obviously you dont do it much.
Yes, and it is something I am very good at...
Of course, and the Lord has greatly blessed us!
A strong husband/wife relationship, big hearts, and the Lord's blessing.

4) Are you going to get fixed?

Nope, I am not broken!
Why do you want to know?
Huh, we thought everything was working fine for us!?!
We didn't know anything was broken.
Don't you only fix things that aren't working properly?
Well as you can see be the size of OUR family everything is in working
order. :)(You have to say this last one with the kinda "I'm not to bright so
your question seems kinda foolish don't you think?" attitude.

5) I can't believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two!

Yes, if I had kids like you, I wouldn't have any more either!
Yes, you don't strike me as the type who could handle more kids than that.
I do it like most people, in bed and after the kids are sleeping.
I put knobs on the kids. Makes them easier to handle.
Everyone has 24 hours in a day, it is just how you use it...nt
With lots of patience, patience, patience
go and look at them while they're sleeping. This reminds me of what sweet
children of God they are and keeps me going!
Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, do what you have to do all day, go
to bed when it's done.
Pick your battles carefully. It helps to have selective sight and hearing!
Don't sweat the small stuff.
(this is a good one for chat rooms) Oh, straight jackets and handcuffs!

6) Are you planning to have any more?

I've been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always
thought you had to plan NOT to have more.
Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn't know that my
husband couldn't count!
We didn't plan the first five, I don't think we'll plan the next five,

7) I hope you aren't planning to have anymore?!?

You mean, I just figured out what I'm really, really good at, and you're
telling me to stop doing it?
Talk to God about it... it's up to Him.
Well, we do have room in our Yukon for 1 more. LOL!!!!!
OK, I won't plan my next one. Surprises can be fun!
Yup we are going to keep going till we get an ugly one.

8) Haven't you heard of birth control?

Yes, and I thank God it doesn't always work!
Yes, I've heard of it, I hope you are using it!
(for dad) Yes, but I just can't find a rubber that will fit me!
Yes, that's great stuff for people with ugly kids!
Oh yes, we do know what birth control is; it's for people who don't want

9) Don't you have a television?

Yes, but we only get X-rated channels
Yes! Did you know there are 28 porn channels in this area?
No, we have much better things to do at night!
Yes 4 of them. Why?

10) How can you afford having so many?

Lifestyles are expensive not kids.
We're not on welfare, in huge amounts of debt, and no, my husband is not a
doctor or lawyer. We just budget well.
I figure you spend what you make, you may as well spend it on more.
" You don't know my financial backer!" (God, of course)
I'm still not sure how we do it...but it works!

11) I am glad it is you and not me!

Yes, me too!
My kids are glad it's me and not you too! ;-)
Oh me too! I love being a mother! and smile real BIG!

12) Do you get any time for yourselves?

Obviously we get a little time to ourselves, or we wouldn't have five kids.

13) Did you give birth to all of them?

Yes, I gave birth to them all. Do you really believe the stork dropped them

14) When people just keep staring at your family....

Yes, they all are mine!
No, we don't try to overpopulate the earth, just to outnumber the idiots!


4kidscrazy said...

i think it is one of those things that people will always ask. i hate when people ask are they all mine or do they have the same dad (since grace is sooo blonde). when they say they can't handle there own i am so tempted to say well then i must not be as selfish as you and i make time for my 4. my sis always gets the stares and she is a little timid so i think it keeps her from doing stuff i just go places and i take my attitude with me. if they want to comment on my kids and how close together they are oh well i am sorry they have such a boring life (or should i say sex life Ha Ha) good luck you will have people who just don't understand and hey if i had a uterus i would be on my 7th so consider yourself blessed more people to be surronded by and i think we both love chaos.

Laura said...

Congratulations on your 5th baby! These come backs are too funny. I'll pray you have a smooth pregnancy as you add another beautiful little one to this world.

Jill said...

You have such BEAUTIFUL children!
Congratulations on #5!
We have 4 also, but in our neighborhood that's actually average to small size.
Here are a few comebacks of my own;
Q:Was this pregnancy planned?
A: YES! God planned it!
Q: How do you handle that many kids?
A: Duct tape, and lots of it!

Special K said...

came by way of a friend of a friend of a friend! LOL!

These are great!

I have to admit I've said similar things to people but now I know better! So forgive those of us who are really idiots and stick our feet in our mouths and just pray that we REALIZE soon! LOL!

There IS hope for us!!

Coincidentally one of my bestest friends has 4...I also have a really great friend that has 6 brothers and 2 sisters!

I myself have wanted LOTS of kids...we have 2 and that's what God has given us and I am thankful for them both and for any more that may 'happen' along! :)

God bless you and your beautiful family!

Mike and Katie said...

I love the comebacks. I was rolling! I can't wait until my hands are so full that it brings out the hecklers!

I've had the exact opposite problem in large Catholic homeschooling groups. "Oh, you only have two? Do you know the church's teaching on contraception?"

Enjoy your babies!


Anonymous said...

So, you must be the family that disrupts my shopping with the sounds of wild children screaming. Poor children being home schooled on the road, being indoctrinated with the death cult dogma. Oh, I know...You are creating an army for god, right? Of course, you will not approve this comment. Do you plan on a home birth as well?

Bridget said...

I don't usually post mean comments but I don't understand why you can take the time to just write a mean comment. I since had my baby she is almost 2 and no home birth. Yes, as I can tell by this comment we need more Christians so yes, I will raise an army for Christ..look out!
We are very blessed and I pray you will find joy in your own soul.

This verse comes to mind:
Prob 11:17
"Your own soul is nourished when you are kind,but you destroy yourself when you are cruel."

ilovemy5kids said...

Wow! Thank you...can't wait till someone asks me these and they do constantly!

:) From another Mommy of five!

Lana @

Cowmamma6 said...

I get it all the time I have six kids and people ask me if they are all mine or if I know what causes it ,My response is yeah all mine and I'd have more if I could fit them in my car.And yes we have a TV but television is no were near as fun.I think It takes a very unselfish person to have a lot of kids you have to have a big heart and be willing to give all of yourself to your munchkins not to many people can do that.Big families are the best.More work but also more fullfilling.I love your comebacks I may use a few..

Anonymous said...

Great answer to Ms. Coward.....I hate when they do not leave a name...erks me....

Your a classy lady..God is smiling!

When I had foster kids... along with mine two were 4 months apart, a lady asked if they were twins...I whispered "yes, but they have different fathers"...oh the look on her face..... :-)

Anonymous said...

I know this post is old and you may have another on the way, but when I have 5 and people say, "You have your hands full", I gently raise one hand and say, "No, I only have one hand full". I am expecting number 6 in July so I will have to think up a new clever response. Glad I found your blog :)

Anonymous said...

Love all these great comebacks. i have four kids and we are trying our fifth. the stupid questions and comments started with our third pregnancy and got worse and more irritating with the fourth. now i have a full arsenal of great things to say to family and strangers who need to mind their own business!!

Erin Slocum said...

So glad my friend shared this! I have 8 children and would love to be blessed with more. I have only given birth to 4, but I don't tell people in the grocery store that! I am blessed though as I get just as many God bless you's and they are so well behaved in our small town as I do the not so nice comments.

You can check out our adventures by going here:

Anonymous said...

I have seven. My favorite response to many of these is the simple one line:
"they're so worth it." This is a sermon and a testimony without sarcasm. I can use it even when they're screaming or throwing fits.