Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Compromise......

My blog has had a lot to do with modesty in some of the recent posts. From me talking about prom dresses to wearing modest bathing suits. Then you see me post my own two younger daughters in bright orange bikinis.
What's up with that?

To be honest, I didn't think much of it. I just think that their baby chub and cute little buddah bellies are adorable. I think of them as babies and that it's no different than them running around in a diaper.
I'm sorry but I can't get enough of their cute roly poly thighs...and soon they will be gone (or come back to them when they are older and not be so cute like their mama's)

My 8 year old on the other hand doesn't wear bikinis anymore. She doesn't want to anyway. She's very modest, and I love that about her. Problem solved...for now.
So the question is, should we teach our girls to be modest from the get go, or is wearing a bikini at toddler age ok?

Many of you sent me emails and or comments on this and it got me thinking???
I want to raise modest girls!

I would love to hear thoughts on this.

This past weekend I got to be a part of "Heart Of A Princess."My friend Leah who was putting the event together asked me a couple months ago if I would like to be interviewed and share a little bit about my testimony.

My first thought was NO WAY!

I am not a public speaker! Who am I to speak? I will make a complete fool of myself up there.

I know I'll completely freeze up in front of a big crowd.
Then....
I prayed about it and soon got over myself.

It wasn't about me....
Even though I was nervous, shaking, teeth chattering......I believe God's word was planted deeply in many young Jr. High and High School girls. I know many of them were encouraged to draw closer to Jesus.
So I was just a messed up nervous vessel....and I'm glad he could use me.


I was also asked to be on the panel at the end of the night. Where girls would ask questions and we would answer them.
One of the questions was, "Are tattoo's a sin?"
I remembered Bianca's vlog post on this and that helped me in answering that question. As to the other questions I would just look at Leah like ,you wanna get this one..haha!
No really, my heart is for young girls!

This event was amazing and I wished I would of attended something
like this when I was at that age.

I talked a lot on compromise and how I lived a life of compromise in High School. How it can have dangerous consequences. I wanted so bad to fit in and just have a little bit of Jesus on the side. I wanted one foot following Jesus and one foot in the world. I let them know it does NOT work that way...I encouraged the girls to have both feet following Jesus. You can't claim to follow Christ and call yourself a Christian while still catering to the world.

I talked about how little compromises can lead to big ones. That there's an enemy out there that is trying to destroy them. He hates them! He uses their dreams and desires and promises to fulfill them if they will just reject God and his word.

But he's very good and sneaky at what he does.

He convinces you that doing something once or something that isn't that bad won't really hurt anything.

The problem is you are opening yourself up to sin and giving the enemy a foothold.

And before you know it he's got a strong hold of you...it reminds me of that song by Casting Crowns Slow Fade.

I really stressed the one area where I believe there is no room for compromise...

Boys!

and dating.....Satan is seeking to rob these young girls of a future filled with joy, peace and most importantly to glorify God with their life!
Girls marry a Godly man!
I remember in high school thinking but he's cute....I'll take him to church and witness to him.
Ummm huh sure.....
What I was doing was planting seeds of compromise not seeds of purity and faith.
Sad to say but sooner or later emotions get involved (even when your a strong girl like I was) and you just might make a decision you never dreamed you would make.
I told them that if they compromise now, they will be far more likely to compromise when they are ready for marriage.
I thank God for his grace and that my husband ended up being a man of God.
It's taken time and heartache.
It wasn't easy and it doesn't usually happen.
The Lord ended up turning our story around for His glory...
The Lord used the pain to soften both our hearts and return to full devotion to God.


I also shared at when I became a Christian...
You see I always thought I was a Christian...again I believe the lies that Satan fed me!
I go to church
I grew up in the church
I even went down forward at a Harvest Crusade
My mom said I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 3
and the list goes on.....
But was I really a Christian?
God has given us standards to judge ourselves by...
Are we truly saved? Or do we just say we are?
If we are truly saved we will:
Keep His commandments
Act like Jesus
Won't hold grudges
Be not concerned with the cares of this world...
God says, "If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."
You won't wander from your faith
And most important you will have evidence that you are.
I asked the girls, if I was to pop onto their facebook page would it reflect what they claim to be? A Christian?
I find it disturbing that so many "Christians" will post how great church was on Sunday and then the very next thing they post will be pictures of them taking shots. Or of them wearing skimpy bikini's at the river with a beer in their hand.
So, I guess you can say, I knew what the word of God said. I was raised to know. But it wasn't enough just to know it.
I needed to obey it.
I needed to surrender to it. I needed to be willing to change my way of thinking and change my lifestyle!
And be willing to let God work on me:)
Trust me he's still working!
I shared a little on purity too....
As some girls asked, "how far is too far?"
I'll write about that in another post:)
Oh and before I forget, if you have won any giveaways or have made orders and haven't received them (usually takes a couple weeks) please email me and let me know. Carlsbadryan@aol.com
I just run the giveaways, the companies are the ones that ship them out.
I just want to make sure you get them:)
More fun giveaways coming soon......





21 comments:

Anita said...

I have three daughters ages 26, 22 and 11 (yes, there are boys in between there and after as well!). Our oldest daughter did wear two-piece swim suits and even belly shirts when she was very young, but I soon came to the conclusion that if it's not cute when they are 16, then it's not cute when they are younger. It is very difficult to go back and set a higher standard than it is to start with a higher standard. Any time we have lowered the standard, whether it be dressing modestly, hair, music, electronic devices, etc, we have regretted it. When they are young is the time to teach the what God's Word says and how your family will choose to represent Christ. Hope that helps!!

Twiddlebugfamily said...

WOW! This has been on my heart so much lately with my own little girl who is just 3! I was a very young 2nd grader when the LORD dealt with my little heart about modesty... no one person dealt with me on it -it was all HIM. And I still hold to these convictions today- & in more than just dress! I can see, even as young as she is, that the LORD is working in her little heart... I so appreciate that.
On the bikini thing- and bathing suits in general- I personally don't wear them...never felt comfortable in them. Just this year I've decided I didn't mind my daughter wearing one at home... but in public these days... there's just too many "child preditors"- out there! AND I don't want to give them ANYTHING to look at on my innocent little girl. So she wears a swimming shirt with swimming shorts- got them at Bass Pro Shoppe I think. Besides that- less sun exposure too.. :) That's just me-
Thanks so much for this post!!!! :)

mommylori said...

I just love the fact you are speaking about modesty yet you are so pretty and you dress very stylish. I have been on so many sites and IRL where the woman is preaching about modesty and yet she believes in only wearing jumpers and is extremely over weight and I have thought if that is modesty I want nothing to do with it. I am not Amish.lol
You are a wonderful witness that you can be a Christian, be stylish yet be "modest" to todays standards. I can't wait to read what is going to far.

:corinne: said...

FANTASTIC Bridgett. Love how the Lord is using. Keep it up girlie. OH and the bikini thing and babies. I'm with you, I love to see their cute lil chub. It's when they get to a point of curviness and "notice" boys, then that's when the one piece goes on. HA!

Marie Evelyne Lanathoua said...

A modest mommy will raise modest girls...they will look up to you just as Faith does.....at Farrah's and Finley's age it is cute more than anything...no worries my friend.....

Lisa said...

the swimsuit thing is something i have issues with as well...my girls are 4 and 2 and i've had a "no bikini" policy from day one, but a lot of my friends and family think it's ridiculous because they're so little. but i had the intention to start them on the modesty thing early so it's not an issue later on. my 4 year old seems to be wanting to push the boundaries though, knowing the rules is a rule, but sometimes asking for a bikini or pointing one out on a friend or in a store. i just don't want to already cause her to rebel because she's tempted by that bikini! i don't know where to draw the line, age-wise, which is why we started this from the beginning. but the chubby bellies and thighs are PRECIOUS! i loved the honesty in this post and i feel the same way about encouraging young girls to start early on a path of purity, i think you and i may have similar testimonies!

Megs said...

Very well said Bridget...couldn't agree more! I'm sure you did a great job speaking to the girls and making an impact on thier lives. What a blessing to be used by the Lord!

Dana said...

As my boys have grown into men, my perspective on whether my girls' (and myself's) dress is modest has changed. I have come to realize that (as shown by Jesus' example), we are indeed our brother's keeper - and this extends to making sure that we are not a stumbling block to our brothers (in Christ) or even our sons. That extends to our dress not tempting our brothers.

We strive to teach our girls to help keep their brother's hearts pure, and give them good examples of modesty in both dress and actions. While this needs to be rooted in the heart, it also needs to be shown in physical ways. We do not allow (if they wanted to) tight shirts, low necklines, print across the chest, skirts that 'cup' or are above the knee...
anything that draws attention to a 'private' part of the body. Also actions - not walking seductively, no coy looks...

Having 6 boys, this subject is near and dear to my heart -
Preach It Girl! ;)

dana

Taunya said...

I love your pictures of your cute little girls. I do know that for us we made the decision to not let the girls wear bikinis. But my girls love 2-pieces so I found some at Land's End that don't share a midriff. We've had a lot of conversations about it lately.

Amy said...

Good for you for sharing your heart with those young ones!

I think you must change how you dress gradually. I still do this even now. I am a mother but I'm still young and could pull off wearing some of the short frilly skirts I used to wear before having kids, but..should I? I say no, because I am a mother now and need to set an example.

I think when your girls slowly reach the age where they are even remotely aware of boys and their own bodies, wearing (revealing) bikinis and such is a definite no.

I also think it's not hard for them to understand that it was ok when they were smaller, but not now. We teach this all the time with different things, such as breastfeeding or drinking from a bottle. It's ok when you're a baby, but not when you're 13.

I think only when they become 'aware' should you worry about what kind of message it sends as far as dressing goes.

Karla said...

Excellent post! It is so refreshing to know that there are people like you, Bridget, who are not hesitant to say what needs to be said!!!!

Valerie said...

Bridget, this is such a hard subject sometimes. lines can get very blurred. I LOVE your heart on this! I love that you want to AFFECT young girls for the GOOD and glory of God. I love that you are growing in your passion for purity and modesty (I am on the same road). I DON'T think allowing your cute little ones in bikinis was "sinful" or "totally immodest". At all. But yes, I think also "where do we start?" and "when do we draw the line?"
also some questions I have been asking myself lately since I grew up in Orange County California are "is this just cute and stylish because that is what society says is cute and stylish?" OR
"is this immodest even if I know most the people around me will say 'it's no big deal'?" I think your heart is to please the Lord, repent of past sins, and pray and search for ways to obey Him in His command for us to be modest. in that girlfriend you can do no wrong
keep it up! your doing great!

janenes said...

I appreciate this post so much--I never really thought about the two-piece debate on babies, but when my daughter was three, she chose for herself one pieces because they were more comfortable. I'm thinking with our 6 month old I'll just keep her in one pieces from the get go.

As for the Heart of a Princess, what a great concept! I'm sure your testimony was meaningful and inspiring to those girls. As a part time middle school teacher, it breaks my heart what compromises some girls make either with the way they dress or the words they say, or the things they do...very sad.

I'd love more posts on modesty. I have a soon to be 7 year old and 6 month old...lots of teaching (and learning on my part) to do.

Braley Mama said...

So awesome! Way to go telling these girls the truth they so truly need to hear!!!!

Susannah said...

Bridget, very inspiring! I agree 100 Percent on the "marry a Godly man" my husband and I are working through this now-i didn't really take that into consideration when we were dating and married-like you said, i was one foot in and one foot out. thanks for sharing!

thechattymommy said...

I love everything you said to the young girls. Congratulations on being chosen. It sounds like you did a great job and they were blessed to have you.
On the 2 piece thing- I was surprised that you had the girls in the suits. It drew me back a little.
I never let my girls wear 2 pieces unless it is a tankini where the top goes over the bottom- which is what I wear.

I just think it is easier than waiting till a certain age and trying to pull it then.
I also feel this way about opposite sex relationships. I do not go out of my way to foster male relationships for my girls or female relationships for my boys even if they are young. I feel that at some point it could lead to trouble and by allowing a male-female realtionships to thrive we form to intimate of a bond that can lead to other things.
It is funny you mentioned the pics on facebook. I have trouble with all the blogs I read that everyone talks about how awesome God is and then talk about kicking back with wine or a few tequilas with friends.
But I guess God brings us all through at different times and in different ways.

Jenna said...

Ok, so I am revealing my little blog stocker self! I have been reading your blog over the last few months and just love you and your adorable family. I have so much respect for how you are living and raising your children. You are a wonderful example to all of us! About the bikini's...its hard because my little two year old is so innocent and cute with her little pot belly. But when do i tell her its not ok, and will she understand why the standards have been changed on her? We have just gone with tankini's or one pieces just to be on the safe side. Ps...I want to know the details of functioning in your RV. maybe i am too high strung but we tried to do a trip from Idaho to California when we only had 2 littles and it was SOOO hard. No one got any sleep!

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

We don't do bikinis, even with the little ones. We do one piece swimsuits, and we wear board shorts over our one piece suits.

When we were youth group leaders, and our oldest kids were in elementary school, some of the youth group boys told us how much they appreciated that we had high standards even for our young girls clothing. These boys had a younger sister that was best friends with our daughter, and they were so frustrated that their parents continued to allow their younger sister to wear bikinis (they had a backyard swimming pool, so this was a daily issue). The older brothers wanted their sister to learn modesty, like we were training our daughters with.

As one of your other commenters mentioned ... we have a house full of boys, as well, and we want our daughters to know how to respect young men, by their choice of clothing.

Now ... on the flip side ... no judgment at all for the little ones in their adorable bikinis. Don't worry about having to "cover up" when you come visit. :)

Great post!

Laurel

heather@it'stwinsanity said...

My twin girls just turned 4 and we've always had a "no bikini" unspoken rule. I just don't want other people looking at my babies like grown women and sadly, this starts early. For me, I don't see a correlation between a toddler in a diaper and a toddler in a bikini because I think bikinis were created to show off the female figure. Just my two cents! ;)

Jessica said...

Reading your post reminded me of something I just read in my Answers in Genesis Magazine. Here is the link. (section about modesty)

https://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/am/v5/n2/biblical-womanhood

About the bikini on toddlers-- I struggled with this when my daughter (age6) was a baby too! I thought it would be harmless because she is just a baby. Then I came up with these reasons why we would stick to one pieces from birth (my personal conviction)

* they are so little they are prob more comfortable in a once piece no riding up on them.

* At what point do I say "you can't wear that" when they have been wearing it for years and years and it was normal to them...it was "okay" when you were little, but now it's not okay.

* perverts who might enjoy seeing my daughter in a bikini

Anonymous said...

I loved your post. I have a 2 year old and have a strict no bikini and no halter top policy. We have a pool in our backyard and I always mention that to friends as well. I believe in modesty and showing skin at any age is inappropriate.