Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Can I Be Honest With You?

Hello, I'm here! CPS did not get a hold of me (yet)
I'm sure their visit is in the works when my health insurance gets a hold of them.

(My computer crashed Thursday, but it's up and working) Thank you Lynn and Cliff!!! I thought I lost everything, but thank God I didn't.
I'm still working on answering emails...

I'm alive...but barley!
My kids have held me hostage in this RV. It seems right after I posted the "Call Me Crazy" post last Thursday, My kids turned on me. Even Finley! Which she is usually the sweet quiet easy going one. She now tells me NO! She is turning in to a little wild one!
All five of them ganged up against me. Acting out of control...
I kept thinking, there is no way I want more! I can't even handle the 5 I have!

Finely fell again and split open her eye open AGAIN. Same eye different spot. Needing stitches AGAIN! This time they didn't put her under they put her in a straight type jacket thing and let her scream her head off while they stitched her up. UGH! I felt so bad for her! I felt like the worst Mom. How could this happen? I try so hard to be a good Mom, but seem to be failing. Have you ever heard of so many kids getting hurt so much?! Me either!
At this point I was about to register them all for school and sign the two little ones up for preschool and get a full time job. Seems easier! Seems safer!
Seems like I'm getting attacked??? Don't ya' think? I find the more I step out in faith the harder life gets....

Maybe it's just the fact that Daddy's been working and now it's just Mom "home." I'm having to re-train them and let them know Mom means business. They behave so much better when Daddy's around.
Or maybe it's just an adjustment. We are not "on the road" and constantly going like we have been for the last 4 months.
..maybe their bored!
Our days have changed. We are still living in the RV, while Dad works on some business stuff for the next 6 weeks. Then we plan to head out again and hit the Northern states.
In the mean time we are celebrating Easter with the family and heading to the beach to camp out until it's time to head out on the open road again.
Which I can't wait. We will finally be traveling in beautiful weather!
I'm not gonna lie, this past week has been a challenge. Living in this RV on the road is fine. I love the road life and the adventure it brings. But to be honest, I'm missing "home" and this RV is not what I call "home." I'm missing my own bed, a long hot shower, roses in my garden, a big kitchen table, and most of all space.
I'm not ready to be tied down with a mortgage yet though. We still have more traveling we want to do. I just have to remind myself that we are blessed to be able to do this. Making all these memories with our children. This is only for a season. A house can wait! This season will be over before we know it and I will have my house before I know it then I will miss traveling.....

I won't sign them up for school or daycare and get a full time job if I don't have to....Because this is a season too.
They will all be grown before I know it.
There's going to come a day where I'm gonna miss my kids driving me NUTS!
Being a stay at home mom is HARD, Homeschooling is HARD but I know I can do this with God's help! I know I was called to do this.
They grow up way to fast and I want to enjoy them. I want to raise them up in the ways of the Lord. We only have one chance to raise them. So, I am going to make the most of it and I'm gonna give it all I got!

Now, will you please pray for the sake of my kids health, my sanity and my wallet that this will be the last ER visit!!!

A verse that has helped me this week....

Let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.
Galatians 6:9

Do you ever have times where you feel like giving up? Do you ever feel like finding the nearest bus stop and shipping your kids off to school? Do you ever feel like you can't keep up with everything? (like your kids finger nails or haircuts?)
(I will be cutting his mullet before Easter)

What verses do you look to for help. Please share!

I'll get them back tomorrow for this week though hehe! Remember last year!


Anonymous said...

welcome to life

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Oh my! Sounds like quite a week!

I am TIRED, too. I am TIRED of living in this LITTLE borrowed house ... TIRED of not having MY STUFF ... TIRED of all of the kids on top of each other ... TIRED of the HARD bed we have been sleeping on for 5 months ... TIRED of WAITING for our OLD HOUSE to sell so that we can buy a NEW HOUSE ...

I LOVE our new little island ... and our new little church ... and our new friends ... I just want a HOUSE of my OWN to live in again ...

(sorry for the rant ...)

We have to move out of the little borrowed house. I'm thinking of taking a road trip. Maybe I should head to CA and camp out with you and the kids. :)

Hope your EASTER is BLESSED with your FAMILY!!!


Susannah said...

Oh Bridge, you are an incredible mother, you just have fearless kids! You are doing such an awesome job with them-truly raising them in Christ's image. Try not to doubt yourself. Your sanity is I'm sure being tested right now though! LOL! And Landon's hair=-seriously hilarious! Maybe you can french braid it for Easter. :D

Braley Mama said...

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day its own trouble.Matt 6 -34
Keep it up!! Those thoughts are not from God(the discouraging ones:O)
You are an awesome mama!!!!

Tonya @ Live the Adventure said...

Hang in there, girl, this too shall pass!

When we first began traveling with my husband's job, it was so stressful! I missed my home, my friends, my family, my vehicle, you name it, I missed it. I would lock myself in the bathroom at the hotel (yep, we were staying in and out of hotels then) and I would bawl. I had no idea how long it was going to last and did my best to take one step at a time. Jeremiah 29:11 became the verse I clung too! I don't know how many people quoted that verse to me, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to give you a hope and a future." Now 4 years later, when I'm having a hard day, that verse still comforts me.

Praying things start to go a bit smoother! Blessings!:)

mommylori said...

As a Mom who did that, I gave up last year and put the kids in school. My husband came home from Iraq hurt, I was spending 8 or more hours 3 times a week at the Va for all sorts of testing and such and i said ENOUGH! My kids need to be kids. Well I do not regret putting them in school they needed to be kids i needed to take care of my husband BUT sending your kids to school is SO much harder than homeschooling. It looks easier, because well people who send their kids to school have 1-2 kids when you have 5 little ones it is not easier at all. You have to get up everymorning and get everyone off, if one is sick you can't say ok you know what I was thrown up on all night we are taking the day off, nope the other 2 have to go to school so you have to get everyone ready even the sick child to drop them off. Trust me it is not fun.
As for the kids getting hurt, no worries it happens, I have 4 boys 9, 7, 5 and 1 only 1 girl who is 2 so I see injuries all day ((HUGS)) It is not your fault, kids are clutzs it happens. I had 3 boys with a blackeye last year and 1 of them had a knot on his head on top of it and the other had a sprained PTL 2 of the blackeyes and the sprained wrist happened at school and our VP was one of 5 He got my kids so well. I miss him.
I am praying for you!

Robin and Stephen said...

I am praying for all of your family to be healthy and safe! I know this is such a neat time for your family! I know they are going to remember this the rest of their lives and will one day understand exactly how cool their parents were to give them this experience! Hang in there!

Sarah said...

Sweet Sister! Praying, praying, praying for you. While this is an AMAZING season, it's also a very tiring one!! Especially when you're in as much transition as your family is. Remember, the days are long, but the years are short. Good for you for choosing what is best, even when it's difficult.

A verse I recently put on my fridge, as a good reminder:

2 corinthians 10:6 "... taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ ..."

God is good and faithful, and still on His throne. And you're not all alone in this!! :)

janenes said...

"Give your burdens to the Lord and he will take care of you." Psalm 55:22

Not that our kids are burdensome--but all of the "things" we try to keep up with.

Raelyn said...

I am so there with you. A stay at home, homeschooling mom. But my husband has been in Iraq since last August. I have been doing it solo. And I feel attacked ALOT. It is not an easy thing. Good Luck!

Dionna said...

I'm so sorry your little one split her eye open again! And I hear ya about the more we step out in faith the more it seems we are attacked. I have been living that lately!
If you come through Boise, ID - let me know. :)

SHALOM said...

First of all I like the fact that you are HUMAN.Secondly, I like the fact that you said you were called to homeschool because that is very iomportant to know.And last but not least, you used the perfect scripture to describe motherhood.