Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I'm NOT Happy, But I'm Filled With JOY!

Life is full of ups and downs. It's guaranteed. Trust me I know! But I choose to not let the downs get the best of me. Better yet, there is a way that I'm learning to actually enjoy my downs.
You see happiness is a temporary feeling. Joy, on the other hand, is a deep, abiding confidence that God is in control, no matter what happens. And that is what I have pure joy because I know that He is in control of my life and every situation:)

10 months ago we moved into this beautiful house. It was our 9th move in 9 years of marriage. (again not our plan) We rented it from an older lady who could no longer take care of such a big house and big property. As you know I fell in love with it. The plan was we would buy the house in a year when she was ready to sell and we were ready to buy. This was the plan. I have been in touch with the owner and (property manager who is now our friend and neighbor) and she has told me over and over how she is so glad that our family is enjoying the house. She just told me a few weeks ago how this house was meant for a big family like ours. We have had every intention on buying this house in the next couple months. The house where my kids are best friends with the neighbors. The house where I love to go outside and pick grapes right off the vine. The house that has a perfect backyard for my kids to run wild and swim. The house that is perfect for having parties,The house that has a perfect spot for the play house we were going to build the girls, The house that has a tree lined street that I take my babies for walks on. The house that has an old charm feeling that I love. The house that I told the kids we would not leave,I know this house is not my "real" home. I just was so happy to finally be settled after moving SO many times. We were making arrangements to buy this house when out of the blue the owner wants to move back in. We have 7 weeks to move out! (basically the same time I was going to start our new school year)
We are heartbroken:(
I thought this house was an answer to prayer and it might have been,for a season. I know God's ways are not our ways. We just work so hard and now I feel torn down.
We haven't told the kids yet. They love it here too. They will be heartbroken!
To be honest with you I'm DONE! I'm DONE moving! I have no desire to pack another box or look at another house. I have no motivation to even decorate another house. I don't care! I'm DONE! So what do I do? PRAY!!! Hand it over to the Lord.
But I know that God doesn't expect us to just pray and "sit back and relax" as He works everything out for us. Neither should I try to avoid my problem at hand. I need to face my problem by taking steps to help as long as I trust God for the results. I need to pray for wisdom in what to do.
I don't know where God wants the Ryan family but we are taking small steps and pray either God opens the doors wide or slams them hard in our face:)

I know that this isn't the last hurdle I will have to jump. For the rest of my life I will have a few twists and turns, and I'll never be able to see beyond the next bend. God doesn't give us a map but I can take comfort in knowing He has seen where the road ends, and He knows every curve along the way. If He thinks that the terrain ahead is too tough, He will handle the necessary road repairs before arrival. Apparently he thinks I drive a 4-wheel drive:)

I know God has something awesome for us at the end of the road but I'm like my kids on a long car ride...Are we there yet???


Too Many Kids In The Bathtub said...

Oh Bridget!!! I am so sorry you are going through this! I know that you know the Lord has a perfect plan for you!!! I know that you know that he will work all this out!!! He sees your heart. He knows your desire to not move any more! This house is obviously not God's best for you...WOW..can you think of the home of your dreams??? I would encourage you to it down and write a list of everything that you would like in your new home. The home you will never move out of! BE SPECIFIC!!!! Maybe the Lord is just giving you an opportunity to get everything you want out of your new home!!! I am so sorry you are hurting. But also excited to be along for the ride as God works this out for you!

Lauren said...

Oh what a bummer!! But you're so right. God is sovereign, and the home you now love was an answer to prayer for this season. He will most certainly give you guys what you need for the next season of life. I agree with the first comment - pray specifically! God already knows exactly what you guys want, but it's so edifying for us to see how detail-oriented He is in His gracious and abundant provision. Can't wait to hear what He is doing here!

Heather said...

Oh wow! I am so sorry for you and your family and your house!! I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. If it makes you feel any better, I live life not knowing where we will be tomorrow or next year due to the military. It is very difficult living a "temporary" lifestyle! I will be praying for you and your family. God has something GREAT in store for you...and everything happens for a reason! I know right now it seems like the worst outcome, but God has something better some how, you just have to wait and see :)

Anonymous said...

Are you serious????????? UGH.... Well guess what I know this girl who used to keep up move for move with you and she (for now) is done moving. She can pack a mean box and can unpack and get settled even faster!! So I'm sure if you call her she will lend a hand, and her husbands and her three kids hands as well!!! XOXOXO JEN

Megs said...

Oh my friend, I am sad for you! One of my favorite life verses comes to mind that I hope brings you encouragement...
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
He loves you guys and wants the best for you and your family. Though we may not always understand why at the time, you will hopefully look back and see this. I wish I could be closer to help you pack:) I will be praying for you!!
Love ya!

Anonymous said...

Hi Bridget, Oh my gosh we are going through the same thing, we moved in to our house (a bit of a different scenario)in December of 08. I sat down with the owners, and I told them I never want to move again and promised my kids that this was it and that this was our home. My agreement with them was to buy within a year. It was a lease option/payments towards the down, etc....well we came home to a foreclosure notice in May and have to move too. They had been in default since 2007, all the money I gave them went into their pockets...we are in civil court actually on Tuesday next week. Good news, we have a house in escrow and we will have lake rights (we did not with this house) far everything is moving with a positive note! Yes everything is in God's plan. I was angry (still am honestly) angry that this happened and the saddest thing is that the couple who I made this deal with, played the "you can trust me I am a Christian" card.....I asked why are you doing this for me replied with a "pay it forward" kinda of response to me now it's blah blah.

I just told my kids this week that we had to move....just wanted to be sure...they are sad, I feel the new house is better but again I promised and they remind me of that.

It will all work out....I promise.



Laura said...

Bridget, I'm so sorry this is happening. :( I will be praying for God's perfect will for your family as you faithfully seek Him. I'm sure your kids will be disappointed at first, but they have a wonderful example to follow of a mama who will continue praising God and moving along.

kristina16marie said...

Oh Bridget, I'm so sorry you have to move again. I know that you never wanted to move again. I will be praying that God will reveal his plan to you and that you will be comforted during this stressful time. Maybe you should think about moving to Texas....we have amazing homeschool laws and just think of how big a house you could buy out here! ;)

janenes said...

Prayers your way. I wish you and your family didn't have to face this disappointment. . .but can I just say I LOVE the first paragraph-I've never really thought about the difference between happiness and joy--and that revelation really moved me!!

Emily said...

Hello Bridget!

Well, this is the first time I've ever posted to your blog, in fact I've only recently found it ~ long story! I love your heart for the Lord, because I feel like there are so few people with the same values and thought process I have, so I love to read your postings!

So how ironic is this ~ I feel the EXACT same way you do right now ~ DONE, why? because we cannot sell our house!! I can connect with what your saying in SO many ways, and to be completely honest with you I was almost done praying about it as well ~ I know, that's the enemy getting the best of me. However, a wonderful Christian friend reminded me that God tells us to pray without ceasing! It may not feel good, you may not like your circumstances, but we should pray without ceasing and trust that God does have a plan and purpose, he is Sovereign AND he's already got it all worked out ~ YEAH!!!!!

My husband walked away from the company he had worked for for 12.5 years last July and became a stay at home Dad for a year. We had NO idea what would happen and most everyone around us called us fools ~ of course! God made it SO clear he needed to leave and then God made something else very clear to us! Christians should never live by statistics! Long story short, my husband ended up becoming a Owner/Operator for Chick-fil-A and was selected against 25,000 applicants last year! AND he doesn't even have a college degree ~ so God WILL put you and your family exactly where he wants you NO MATTER WHAT!!

So, I would love to get away from corporate america and work with my husband, however as long as we're in our home during the first few years of a new business, I'm unable. I LONG to have more time with my children and I am in constant prayer about it ~ we are so willing to sell our home, move into a small (very) home and give away over half of everything we own ~ it's only stuff! I want to be with my children and husband!!!

So hang in there and know you are seeking God's will and that his promises are ALWAYS true ~ I will be praying for you! My family and I live just a few miles from the Creation Museum, so I will also pray that your visit is wonderful!

I'm not sure if you contact people who comment, but if we could be of any help, in any way during your visit, please feel free to reach out!

Emily -

Shannon Hartz said...

Oh Bridget, I am soooo sorry you are having to go through this. I really is a beautiful home. Thank God you had the time there that you did. God obviously took you to that neighborhood for a reason, who knows how many lives you and your kids touched because of your time there. Bobby and I are looking for a rental too. We're still not sure how much longer we have here. The thought of moving is almost overwhelming, and I'm so afraid that it will be right when the baby comes. But I know worrying isn't going to help. I've been praying like a mad man that God will give us wisdom and send us to the right neighborhood. I'll include you all in my prayers too. Thank God we know He is in control as long as we are seeking His will.

Kristie V said...

I actually got a little emotional reading this. Could be my prego hormones that want to cry over anything emotional:) But I can't help feeling for you and the family. You told me how adventurous you are...and you are. I appreciate your attitude and outlook on the whole thing...though I know the process stings the heart for sure! I remember you telling me the lady wanted to she wants to move back in! Now that is a surprize...and definately a door slammed (obviously). Your situation reminds me of an older Steven Curtis Chapman song... "The Great adventure" And I feel led to the write the words for you!

Saddle up your horses

Started out this morning in the usual way.
Chasing thoughts inside my head of all I had to do today.
Another time around the circle. Try to make it better than the last.

I opened up the Bible and I read about me.
Said I'd been a prisoner and God's grace had set me free.
And somewhere between the pages, it hit me like a lightning bolt..
I saw a big frontier in front of me, and I heard somebody say..LET"S GO!

Saddle up your horses, we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace.
Let's follow our leader into the glorious unknown.
This is a life like no other oh...this is the GREAT ADVENTURE!

Come on get ready, for the ride of your life.
Gonna leave long faced religion in a cloud of dust behind.
And discover all the new horizons, just waiting to be explored,
This is what we were created for..

We'll travel over, over mountains so high.
We'll go through valleys below
Still through it all, we'll find that
This is the greatest journey, that the human heart will ever see.
The love of God will take us, far beyond our wildest dreams.
Yeah, oh saddle up your horses..come on get ready to ride!!

You can look up the song on PLAYLIST and listen to it...I just felt so compelled to encourage you with those words! God's got some good stuff for you guys ahead. Where one beautiful door closes...God's got an even more beautiful door to open for you! Love you and will be praying for you!!!! Keep me posted and keep your eyes on the GREAT BEAUTIFUL ADVENTURE AHEAD everytime your heart breaks!!!

Scrapingirl said...

Oh, Dear, I am sooo sory that you have to go through this. That really stinks. But I know there is a better place for you, don't worry. I know that's easier said than done, but..... I will be praying for you guys that God will send you to the perfect house.

crazymamaof3 said...

hang in there girl...movin sucks and even more so with 5 kids..I will keep you in my prayers for finding a big house that is perfect for all yur dreams...and kiddos..Try Eastvale..there are big houses here that ar relatively cheap..Happy house hunting:)

Anonymous said...


I can get you boxes...tons of them, from where I work, they are always sturdy, I have availability to them, their free, let me know. I'm close at UCR in Riverside. Email me if your interested.

Nicholle said...

Oh Bridget! My heart goes out to your family. I know how much you enjoy your home and it really is a great house for your family. That yard is just amazing! Even more so all your veggies. We are all placed somewhere for a reason and I'm sure this is just pit stop on your journey. It may seem hard to understand but, it will all work out and most likely for the better. Moving Im sure sounds horrible especially since you have done it so many times and now with 5 kids. I will be praying for your family through this time. I hope the kids can understand and I'm sure they will. I really hope you can find a place before school starts so you aren't to overwhelmed. Let me know if you need any help. Even with your kids while you search. Good Luck, and Im so sorry!

~1/2 a dozen~ said...

That's horrible! From your pictures its so easy to see how happy you and your family are in this home. I'm soooo sorry. I'm praying for you and your family. Don't worry about the kids, they are resilient and they will understand especially by watching the example you set. You can always move closer to us, that way we can start hanging out!

Bridget said...

Thank you for everyones commments and emails. I can't believe how many of us are going through this. I'm praying for you guys too. It's nice to have so many of you praying for us. Thank you!

Heather said...

Oh Bridget! :( I'm so sorry, I know how much you love that house! I will be praying for you guys and I know that God has many more great things in store for you as the past has already shown :D Hugs!

Karla said...

I am so sorry. It is obvious from the picture what a beautiful home and neighborhood it is.

Your attitude is such a blessing. I really appreciate this post, though I am sorry for the bad news....

Karla said...

oops~ obvious from the pictureS, I should have said!

Jasmine said...

Oh I am so sorry. What a hassle and only 7 weeks to pack and find another place, wow. Praying that you find just the "perfect" place you need.

Bridget said...

Marie, can I have your email again...I so have to talk to you!

Anonymous said...

HI Bridget...

You can email me at of

Let me know what I can do to help.

Loni's World said...

:( So sorry to hear that!
Things work out in crazy ways.
I wish you the best.


Lauren said...

Beautiful lady, I am still thinking of you over this house issue. But I also wanted to take a second to stop by and let you know that I have changed my blog's URL. I know you're a follower :), and I wanted to make sure to let you know that if you want to continue to keep us with us, you'll need to come to my new spot (just go through my profile), and click "follow" again. Thank you - Blessings to you! :)

Cinnamon said...

About 10 yrs ago our family had the same thing happen to us. Little did we know that the ride of our life, the purging that we sooo desperately needed was coming. God was taking us where we wanted to go (out in the country building our own home) but we had no idea it was coming or the price we'd be paying for our dreams.

God's plans don't always mean beautiful paths but God's plans always lead to beautiful souls.

May God bless your sweet family as you strive to follow Him where ever He leads~


Kimberly @ RaisingOlives said...

I love your beautiful attitude in such a tough time. I think homes are (and rightly so) the heart of a mommy. Our lives are centered around our house and it affects us every single day.

Praying for God's peace for you during this time and praying that He will provide for you something even more wonderful than you can imagine. In the meantime, know that we are thinking and praying for you and your family